A Nurse’s Testimony

My sister—who was also my first doula client—had an unplanned cesarean section, and it was beautiful. Truly. I’ll be sharing that story in a separate post because it deserves its own space. Her birth was filled with sacrifice, tears, God’s presence at every turn, autonomy, and informed consent—some of which eventually collided with pushed ideologies and hospital policies. And yet, she maintained her dignity and remained in control of how she brought her son into the world.

This post isn’t about that birth—at least not yet. But before I share it, I want to start with a little background about myself.

When you start saying “yes” to God, you begin to see how He has been present in every single scene of your life. I am in awe of His love for me, and I often laugh when I think back to the season of my life when I truly believed I was in control of my future.

I began my journey as a registered nurse in January of 2014. The path there wasn’t exactly organic. I knew I wanted to help people medically, but my original plan was to become a veterinarian. I loved animals and grew up surrounded by dogs, cats, horses, chickens, birds, fish, guinea pigs, and hamsters. Caring for them came naturally, and I figured I could help people by helping their animals.

Then my best friend suggested I look into nursing. I took a leap of faith and followed her into nursing school.

After becoming an RN, I worked for a pediatric home health agency where, frankly, I wasn’t treated very well. There were multiple occasions where I arrived at a client’s home only to find out later they had been taken to the hospital—without anyone informing me. From there, I moved into a pediatric neuroscience unit at a top children’s hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. That role pushed me to my limits and stretched me in ways I didn’t know were possible.

After working countless night shifts with no real hope of transitioning to days, I made the difficult decision to take a position closer to home. I began working as a nursery nurse in labor and delivery at a hospital about 20 minutes from my house. I was still working nights, but being close to home made it manageable.

It was there that my love for birth and breastfeeding truly took root. I realized—deep in my bones—that this was where my heart belonged. I loved helping women breastfeed their babies. At the time, I didn’t have extensive lactation knowledge, but I had patience, determination, and a deep desire for mothers to experience the power of their own bodies. I tried different positions, different latches, and different approaches with every family I helped. I also knew how incredible breastmilk was and wanted every newborn to receive those benefits.

I fully believed I would work there until retirement. But God had different plans.

I worked there for about five years. In 2017, I gave birth to triplets—and that dream was abruptly and completely changed. This is where God intervened in the most beautiful way and began molding me into the servant I was always meant to be.

I had always believed in the saving power of Jesus, but I didn’t yet have a true relationship with Him. Somewhere around my 23rd or 24th year of life, I felt a deep tug on my heart to lean into Him more fully. I wanted to raise my children in a God-centered home, and I had a burning desire to deepen my relationship with Him so I could lead by example.

Eventually, I reached a crossroads in my career. I knew I didn’t want to work in the hospital anymore—despite how much I loved it. Something was holding me back from clinging to the career I once thought would carry me to retirement.

I tried working PRN on nights for a while, but it kept me from fully enjoying the season I was in. I was a brand-new mom of triplets, and I knew something had to give.

I applied for hundreds of remote RN positions—without success. Eventually, I decided to become a professional medical coder, hoping that certification might open a door. By what I can only describe as a miracle, a friend connected me with his sister, who was a professional medical coder. Through her, I landed a remote RN coding position.

I learned a lot and gained a new skill, but the environment was intensely micromanaged—to the point where I had to notify my entire team when I stood up to use the restroom. Wild. With my husband’s full support, I resigned.

Not long after, I happened to scroll past a Facebook post from my brother-in-law’s sister (however your brain wants to label that relationship—ha). She worked for a research company and mentioned they were hiring remote nurses. I reached out, asked for more information, and was hired shortly after.

Soon after starting, I had to tell them I was newly pregnant and would need maternity leave within nine months. They took it far better than I expected, and I remain incredibly grateful. That birth is also a story for another day—one filled with grief, treachery, grace, PTSD, and a surprising clarity about the next chapter of my life.

I worked for that company for two years before it was acquired by IQVIA. By God’s grace, I could see the writing on the wall—our department was going to be downsized. Knowing another colleague and I were lowest on the totem pole, I prepared myself. I even warned her, because it was the right thing to do.

When my boss eventually asked to meet, she couldn’t say what was coming. But when I mentioned I was already looking for another job and had a strong lead, the tension dissolved. We both understood what was about to happen.

“At ease” might be the wrong phrase, though.

At that time, my husband was working for a company that paid less than his previous role. I never felt it was the right fit for him—or our family—but I was also wrestling with something that surfaced after having the triplets: control. I controlled nap schedules, feeding schedules, appointments, visitors—and eventually, my marriage. I tried to control even the smallest details of my husband’s life.

It wasn’t healthy.

I prayed for a heart change, and God answered. Because of that transformation, his job transition didn’t shatter our home. I trusted God to carry us through, even when we were facing the possibility of being down to one income again. I also worried about how I’d continue homeschooling our children with a more demanding job.

During the layoff process, I cold-emailed a company we had contracted with through IQVIA. They hired nurses remotely. I wasn’t excited about staying in research, though. The industry had begun to feel ethically misaligned with my values. While research can do incredible things, it’s also a multi-billion-dollar industry—and profit often drives priorities.

I interviewed, secured the job, and transitioned seamlessly using my severance. At first, it felt like I hit the jackpot: higher pay, flexibility, and support for homeschooling. But soon it became clear I had walked into chaos. Leadership was unstable, procedures were unclear, and turnover was constant.

When I pushed back against unpaid overtime and made it clear I wouldn’t sacrifice my family or values, I was placed on a 30-day PIP—one I knew was really a countdown. I completed it with integrity, documented everything, and prepared myself to be fired.

And during that time, I finally leaned into a dream I’d been carrying quietly for years.

After leaving the hospital, I never stopped feeling called to help women breastfeed. I saw how often it wasn’t the seamless experience people expected. While working at IQVIA, I pursued lactation education and became a Certified Breastfeeding Specialist. I was too afraid to fully step into it—but God has a way of closing doors so we walk through the right ones.

When I was fired, I felt peace.

From there, the blessings continued. We found a church that felt like home. I was baptized. My husband’s job sustained us while I worked to build something from the ground up.

Then my sister became pregnant.

She valued physiological birth, understood the risks of hospital birth, and chose midwives near my home. Those same midwives later offered me office space—before I was even an IBCLC. I dreamed of gaining my 1,000 hours, though mentorship in the lactation world can be difficult to find. I was blessed with a virtual mentor, but I still longed for hands-on experience.

I also wrestled with how to reach moms before problems began—before birth. That’s when the idea of becoming a doula resurfaced.

My sister asked me to attend her birth, and I wanted to show up fully prepared. So I became a certified doula shortly before she delivered.

Her birth changed me.

It was gut-wrenching and breathtaking and holy. God’s presence was undeniable. I found myself advocating fiercely, even addressing an entire team of residents and specialists—on about nine hours of sleep across five days—standing firm in her birth plan and autonomy.

And I knew.

This was the path.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
—Proverbs 3:5–6

Sometimes all we have to do is say “yes.” God will handle the rest—and I am endlessly grateful He didn’t allow my comfort or fear to derail His plans.